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Saturday, September 20, 2014

Parting is such sweet sorrow...

I love writing. I really do. In fact, when I grow up, I think I want to be a writer.

I said it when I was in grade three and it still holds true today.

But...

There are a few things that for now I love even more than I love writing.

Like teaching.

I really, really, really, really love teaching. I love it so much that it torments me and makes me angry and has me stomping my feet and crying furious angry tears. It energizes me more than a thousand cups of coffee. There is almost nothing that compares to watching the light return to a child's eye when she finally gets it. When the "cool" kid tries to hide that smile that means he's proud of himself for finally figuring it out. When tweenage girls rush into my classroom during recess and tell me about the latest book they read that they're insisting I read too because they just know I'll love it.

I love making a difference. I want to change the world. Scratch that. I want the thousands of kids I'll teach over my lifetime to change the world. And I want to teach them that they can.

But you know what I love even more than teaching? My children. My husband. My friends. My family.

I don't even have the words to explain how important it is for me to love them and spend time with them. I have even less words to explain how sad I feel when I don't have the time to love them or spend time with them.

As much as I wish I could be that kind of modern woman who "has it all", I can't. I'm just not that woman. I just don't have the time, energy, or stamina to devote the time to everything thing I love. I only have enough time, energy, and stamina for the things I love them most.

I really do love writing, but right now, I don't love it enough.

That is why, for now, I'm not going to be writing on this blog.

For now, I'd rather teach and learn, and run and cook, and eat and laugh, and cry and love, and travel and talk, and live my life...All the same stuff I've always done; I just won't be writing about it anymore.

I'll see ya when I see ya.

Lights fade on the now empty stage as the host sighs a sigh of relief.

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