My New Year's Resolution was to write every day and I haven't been doing so well.
It's not that I haven't wanted to write.
And it's not that I haven't had anything to write about.
It's that I didn't have the energy to write. Both physically and mentally.
That must sound weird, right? I know... when I say it out loud, it sounds weird to me too.
I have lots of "good reasons" for my lack of energy, the latest of which is a cross between a week of insomnia mixed with the longest bout ever of SAD (seasonal affect disorder) mixed with being too busy with work/homework/other work/volunteer work/kids/home/other. I tell people (and myself) that at the end of the day, when dinners are cooked and cleaned up from, and swimming lessons are over, and homework (theirs and mine) is done, I just don't have the mental stamina for much more than watching House Hunters International and reading a magazine.
But what doesn't make sense is that as soon as I turn out the lights, my brain re-energizes and starts working overtime and I remember all the things I forgot to do that day and the things I need to do tomorrow and I remember all the reasons I'm worried about my kids and on and on and on...
Writing isn't the only thing I've been neglecting lately. I haven't been running, reading, or cooking near as much as I used to. And those are four of my favorite things to do!
This unproductive funk seems to hit me every year.
Every year I vow to change my ways and make sure it never happens again. But I probably won't. And it probably will.
I can still try, can't I?
This time around, I'm going to try something new. By trying something old. I'm going back to where I started.
I used to write about what I ate, what I read, and what I ran. I wrote every day so that I knew every day, I was reading, eating, and running towards my goals. I used to write for me and that made me happy. And if someone else liked what I wrote, then I was even happier.
I need that back. Despite what my therapist says about having too many "rules" ruling my life, like a wayward teenager, I'm happier with structure. I need guidance. I need control to make me feel in control. That's what makes me happiest. And I need to make sure I'm happy in order to make others happy...whether it's my kids, my husband, my students, my friends, or you.
So that's what this blog is going back to.
It's about what makes me happy.
Which is running. And Reading. And Eating. And feeling good about how I feel on the inside and how I look on the outside. And sometimes Ranting, Complaining, and Cathartic Crying.
And sometimes it's a book, a restaurant, a product, or even a store that I like and I that I think you'll like too.
And that's what I'm going to write about.
Take today for example...
|This Braised Beef Sandwich |
is not making being a vegetarian
any easier. Damn!
As for the running, I did a 1/2 hour on the treadmill this morning. And as for reading, I'm gonna crack open a book right after this is published...I swear.