Sunday, September 29, 2013

Lordy, Lordy...

I turned 40 today.

It's been a tough one to swallow, but not for the reasons you think.  It has nothing to do with the way I look; I'm (slowly) accepting that parts of me are getting greyer, wrinklier, and jigglier. Nor does it have anything to do with the stigma of being old; I'm proud of being 40, especially when you consider how many women never live to see that number. And for sure it has nothing to do with feeling old...except of course, the stiffness I feel the morning after a super-long run, or the achiness in my feet I feel after wearing super-high heels for an evening, or the puffiness I feel the morning after eating a bucketful of salty popcorn at the movies.

Ok, so maybe I feel a little old.

But I don't feel old.  It really does feel like just yesterday that I had just gotten my license and I was riding around the neighborhood with my two best friends, singing Madonna's Vogue at the top of our lungs and feeling just about as happy as any one person could feel. But that's just the tip of the iceberg; all of those memories, from my first kiss ever to my first encounter with my husband, really truly feel like they could've happened yesterday.

That's what freaks me out about turning 40. Not how old I am today, but how quickly today came.  How did 40 years go by that fast?  How is it possible that yesterday I was 15 years old and complaining that my mom's 40th birthday party was so boring but today she's wishing me a happy 40th?

If the first 40 went by that fast, what about the next 40? How fast will they go by?

I think the reason those first 40 went by so fast is because they were so great. I had three parents who loved me so much and made sure I never wanted for anything. I met the love of my life and we created the most beautiful family. I have so many people in my life who love and support me. I've got a great job that I love and make a pretty decent living. I've got lungs and legs that let me run really far. I get paid to write! I've got a home that is safe and warm. I live in a country that provides me with more freedom, health care, and clean water than pretty much any other place on the planet.

I'm not sure who to thank for all this, but nonetheless, thank you. Thank you for giving me 40 of the best years of my life.

So far...