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Friday, September 6, 2013

Coleslaw

I've been sitting here for 20 minutes trying to decide how to start this blog post.  I just can't focus my thinking.  I have so much to say...about my son starting high school, about my daughter starting middle school, about me entering my 10th year of teaching, about the summer being over, about the books I haven't read, about reflecting on Rosh Hashana (the Jewish New Year), about how this particular hair dryer has changed my life, about my frustration with why every vegetable can't be organic when my backyard urban farm has produced an insane bumper crop of tomatoes, parsley, kale, and early mizuna, using nothing stronger than the seeds of hot peppers and a wall of marigolds and nasturtiums  to defend them.

But none of those topics seemed like a smooth transition into this:

Sister (we'll call her "Sari'): "Your coleslaw was amazing.  You should write a blog post about it."

Mother: "Yes. And take a picture of me eating it and put it in your blog. You never have pictures of me in your blog."
A totally candid shot of my Mom eating coleslaw. 

It really was good coleslaw.  And to think I wasn't even gonna make it.  (Cue the flashback waves and music)

Scene One: A week ago
Sari and I are jogging and discussing the Rosh Hashanah dinner that she will be hosting shortly. 

Me: What do you need me to make?

Sari: Just your chopped liver*. I've got everything else taken care of.

Me: Are you sure? I could make coleslaw or something. I make good coleslaw.

Sari: Molly's* already making a salad.  Do you really think we need another salad?

Me: I guess not.

We change topics and keep jogging.

Scene Two: The Day of the Big Dinner.
It's almost breaktime and I'm sitting in my classroom quickly trying to finish my literacy corner posters*** before the bell rings and I have to bolt across the school to get to the cafeteria for my cafeteria duty:

 
Just to be clear, I am drawing your attention to the 10:41 text that references"freaking out" and not the 2:48 text referencing the kiwi in the fruit salad. Although it is troubling that my Dad doesn't know that I have an anaphylactic allergy to kiwi.
It is at that point that I decide to throw caution to the wind and Make. My. Coleslaw. But on such an occasion, one of the holiest days in the Jewish faith, will my regular coleslaw suffice? I don't think so... Hence, I went rogue with my recipe and, keeping with Rosh Hashanah tradition, created this:

Creamy Apples 'n Honey Coleslaw
Don't wait for Rosh Hashanah or a freak out moment like Sari's to make this 'slaw.  It's sweet and tart and creamy and easy and quick and good with sandwiches, barbecue, fish, burgers, and more!
You can find it in the fridge section of
open-minded grocery stores.

Ingredients
One lemon, cut in half.
1 bag of coleslaw
1 large green apple (or two small)
1/3 + 1 tbsp. mayonnaise (I prefer Veganaise)
1 tbsp. honey
s & p to taste

Directions
1. Cut your apple into matchsticks and put them in a large bowl.  If you don't know how to cut stuff into matchsticks, click here.
2. Sporadically while cutting the apples, squeeze some lemon juice over them and gently mix it up.  This will add a nice tartness to the slaw as well as prevent the apples from turning brown.
3. Once all the apples are cut and doused in lemon juice, toss in the coleslaw mix, the mayo, and the honey. Mix gently but thoroughly.  It'll look a little dry at this point but don't worry.  Cover it, put it in the fridge for an hour, and wait for the magic to happen.
4. After at least an hour, mix it up and taste, adjusting the salt, pepper, mayo, and honey as you see fit.
5. Serve and receive praise.



I know it's not that most gorgeous picture.
Keep in mind that I only took the picture after my sister suggested the blog post and thus, the coleslaw had already been served and stuff.

~Fin~


*I make outstanding chopped liver.  Anyone who's ever tasted it has said so.  Sister's husband even refers to it as "his girlfriend." I could tell you my secret but then I'd have to kill you.  But I will say this: if a certain store ever shut down, I couldn't make "my" chopped liver anymore.  
**Sister's husband's brother's girlfriend.
*** for all you skeptics out there who are wondering why I'm making posters instead of teaching, you should know that it was my prep period.  

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