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Thursday, August 15, 2013

The truth? You can't handle the truth...and I can't handle red meat.

I think its time for me to come clean about this propaganda-esque picture of me, proudly and confidently leading my tribe of fellow tourists through the majestic sand dunes of the Sahara desert at sunrise. 




 


The real reason I was leading the pack?

Ten minutes earlier...Me, shamefully vomiting over the edge of a majestic sand dune in the Sahara  desert at sunrise. As it turns out, my tummy just couldn't handle the ride and I'd opted to walk instead. Why? See below:

 
Ten hours earlier...Me, stuffing my pie-hole with the world's yummiest Bedouin-made beef tagine.
 

This meal reminded me how much better food tastes when camping. 
 It also reminded me how my stomach can't handle red meat. 
 
So after years of getting sick after eating steak, the experience nearly dying of dehydration in the Sahara desert (ok that might be a slight exaggeration), was the last straw in deciding go veg.  Well...maybe I'll eat fish.  And chicken sometimes. And the occasional turkey burger. And bacon doesn't count because it's sort of like candy, right?
 
So after years of getting sick after eating steak, the experience nearly dying of dehydration in the Sahara desert (ok that might be a slight exaggeration), was the last straw in deciding to stop eating red meat.   
 
 
Here's how you can help:
Step one: save the picture of me barfing on your phone. 
Step two: if you run into me and I'm eating red meat, slap it out of my hand and show me the picture.
 

Fake Steak
 
Ingredients
2 large Portobello mushroom caps
1/4 cup parsley, finely chopped
1 heaping tbsp. Montreal steak spice
1/4 cup panko bread crumbs
1/4 cup olive oil
1/4 cup parmesan cheese
 
Directions
Preheat the oven to 425
1. Scrap the gills from the underside of the mushrooms.  I find a grapefruit spoons works perfectly for this job. Then rinse them off & wipe dry.  Cut into quarters & set aside.
2. Mix the rest of the ingredients (except for the cheese) in shallow bowl.
3. Coat the mushroom quarters and place scraped-out side down on a baking sheet.
4. Bake for 15 minutes, flip over, sprinkle the cheese on 'em, and bake for another 15 minutes.
5. Enjoy as you would a real steak...with potatoes and stuff.
 
 
 
 


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