Friday, August 17, 2012

The other shoe finally dropped

For as long as I can remember, I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the smoke to dissipate and the mirrors to shatter and for someone to call me out on the fact that I am completely incapable of doing what I'm doing and drag me off the proverbial stage of life with a hook. Such as...

whenever I handed in a paper in university


when I created "conceptual" art for one of my many studio classes


my entire first of year of teaching


when I started writing blogs and started getting paid for my blogs


when I recommended books to people while working at Chapters


whenever I start a long run and think that the 15k I ran the day before was a fluke because today I'm not sure I can get past the first 2k.


when taking my driver's test

…actually, I almost got called out on that one.  Technically I did fail but I was the last appointment on a dreary Friday in February and my Examiner said he didn't have the strength to argue with me so I passed.

But today, after years of waiting, the other shoe finally dropped. To look at me, you'd think I was in pretty good shape.  All that ended today.  I was finally called out on the fact that despite being able to run for miles, and despite being able to eat way more than you'd think I eat if you saw me, and despite having skinnier ankles and wrists than anyone I know, I am in terrible, terrible shape.

It all happened at this wicked new fitness studio I found last week, Gravitate.  Originally I joined because I wanted to get back into yoga.  On a whim, I decided to try out a couple of other classes, such as barre and gravity.

Holy crap did my ass get kicked.  Literally.  I was sweating, my legs were burning, my arms were shaking and more than once, I had to succumb to the "easier" option suggested by the instructor.

But am I embarrassed? No.  I am actually super-relieved because finally, I can exhale and admit that I've got a weak core, even weaker arms, have no idea how to parallel park, and have even less of an idea why you have to invert and multiply when dividing fractions.

I can admit that most of the time, I have no idea what I'm doing.

But really, do any of us?  

The other bright side of getting my ass-kicked is that I completely do not feel like polluting my body with something unhealthy and instead of my usual post-run cheeseburger, I made this delicious and super-healthy salad:

Salad of Roasted Corn, Edamame, Hearts of Palm, and Other Stuff
3 ears of corn, roasted until slightly browned and then removed from cob
1 cup diced fresh tomatoes
1 cup edamame 
1 can of hearts of palm, cut into bite-sized pieces
1/4 cup chopped red onion
1 cup chopped arugula (or parsley or cilantro…whatever you like best)
juice of one lime
1/4 cup olive oil
1 tsp of salt (or to taste)

Mix everything together in a large bowl.  And that's it.
This salad tastes really good if you eat it right away but even better if you eat it later, or the next day.


  1. funny + truthful = I loved it:)
    - Sarah from Gravitate