Monday, March 28, 2011

Things they don't teach you in finishing school

The key to a happy marriage: always greet your husband at the door wearing lipstick and with a hot meal waiting on the table.  

This was one piece of advice I was taught at the finishing school I was sent to, along with my best friend, Marni, when we were 12 years old.

Some of the other gems?

It is your civic duty as a woman to go up to a strange woman on the bus and inform her that her makeup is applied incorrectly.

A boy who fails to open the door for you is a boy not worth going out with.

You can tell a lot about a woman by how well she takes care of her nails (not good news for two avid naibiting tweens)

Prior to answering a phone call, make sure you are seating comfortably and have a pen and paper handy.

You need to know that as I type this, I am eating Nutella off of a spoon and am ignoring the phone, which is ringing incessantly.

Finishing school was lost on me.

However, there are a few things I have managed to pick up over the years which I think every young lady should know.

1.  Floss.  But not in public.
2.  Learn how to walk strut in high heels.  I don't care who you are; they will always make you look and feel more confident and sexy.
3.  Believe me when I tell you that men don't care if you are taller than them or smarter than them...as long as you don't rub it in their face.
4.  Make your bed & hang up your clothes. Every day.  I learned about that one the hard way.
5.  Always wear lipstick and have a hot meal on the table.

Ok.  I know that I laughed at that one years ago but its true.

Wearing lipstick (or gloss or my fave,  Clinique Almost Lipstick in black honey) makes you feel like you care about you.  Its okay to want to look and feel beautiful and do things for yourself once in a while.  Or all the time.  This is not a new concept to me.  I first read about it years ago in the wise writings of Teri Hatcher in her book, Burnt Toast: And Other Philosophies of Life.  Now, I am not a fan of Superman or Desparate Housewives but this was a pretty good book about how taking care of yourself sets a good example for your daughter as well as makes you feel good.  Something I was reminded of a few weeks ago when my daughter suggested that I go on the show, What Not to Wear.  "Not because your ugly, Mommy," she explained, "but because you should spend some time on yourself once in a while."  G-d bless you, child.

And the hot meal?  Feeding yourself and your loved ones good, real food communicates that they are worth it.  Even if you are the only loved one you are feeding, make it special.  You deserve it.  Take tonight, for example.  After returning from the gym, ravenous as usual, I looked in the fridge and the only thing that stared back at me was a cold leftover hamburger patty. Now, I could've followed my first instinct and eaten it cold, straight from the fridge.  But then the my inner-finishing school graduate spoke up and whispered, "you're not wearing lipstick...at least go for the hot meal!"

And so, less than 10 minutes later, I was enjoying a delicious pizza burger, using ingredient that I always have in my possession.  And so should you.

The "You're Worth It" Pizza Burger
1 leftover burger patty
2 tbsp of tomato sauce
handful of arugula
slice of provelone, mozzerella, or swiss cheese
a bun (I prefer the multigrain flat buns.  Much healthier & it can hold off the sog-factor of this recipe)

Heat the burger at 350 for 5 min or so until warm.
While this is going on, spread 1 tbsp of the sauce onto each half of the bun.
Turn the oven up to broil, put the buns, sauce side up in the oven, and put the cheese on the burger.
Broil for 1 min or until the cheese just melts and starts to get bubbly.
Put it all together: Bun, burger, arugula, bun.
Pour yourself a glass of red wine, place your napkin daintily on your lap, cut in half, and inhale.
Like any proper young lady who attended finishin school would do.

PS.  Sorry there is no photo tonight.  I was so hungry and it looked and smelled so good that when I considered the precious moments it would take for me to go upstairs, get my camera, take the photo, and blah, blah, blah, I just said, "screw it... let 'em imagine what it looks like tonight."


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